 
Creepy_Little_Goth_G
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This may count as spam, move it if you want, just thought it was funny! 
Does this ring true for anyone you know......
Men's Names
Aaron - ugly but hung like a horse. prone to belly button fluff.
Adam - cute, funny and needs a bath.
Adrian - usually short and very horny, watches cartoons.
Alan - shy but sensitive, gets screwed over by women.
Alex - cute and short but a liar and a cheat.
Amir - amazingly hilarious and gets all the chicks. Pecker is well built.
Andy - boring and has a small pecker.
Andrew - gay and still has a small pecker.
Antonio - has a great body and beautiful skin, and chicken brain.
Anthony - great guy and kind to all girls, smells of weed.
Arnold - loser.
Arthur - hung like a slave and celibate.
Barry - lights fires, pinches girls bottoms and is well hung
Ben - funny and can be real difficult to beat at games, but eats with his
hands.
Bob - quiet and unpopular,
Brad - thinks everyone likes him...but they don't.
Brandon - good looking but uses girls.
Brendan - quiet and sweet, gets beaten up all the time.
Brett - world wide slut and really insensitive, women love him.
Brian - mean and only thinks of himself, no he's not the Messiah he's just a
naughty boy.
Bryan - sexy, but stupid - can't spell.
Bronsen - annoying and never grows up - has a stupid name.
Bruce - stinks bad and thinks everyone else's name is also Bruce.
Bryce - fun to be with and will make you laugh, you'll kill him within a
week.
Calvin - immature in a naive way, drives a Ford.
Carl - thinks he's funny...he's not, falls asleep during sex.
Carson - fun to be around and really sensitive.
Chad - cute, sensitive and very studly - only found in American movies no
real person has that name.
Charles - can't trust him, eyes too close together
Chris - can't pull, will pay for women
Christian - very sexy and seductive (think 'Legends of the Fall').
Clark - hilarious and always in trouble, problem with 'jailbait'.
Cliff - very sweet and adores girls, but very superficial.
Cole - nice, funny, and fun to be around.
Con - lies to women and blows up public buildings.
Cory - funny but ugly, ends up running fashion magazines.
Craig - tries to fit in - he never does.
Cyril - well, Cyril.
Dale - Charming , but sleeps with men.
Damon - total loser in a sweaty sort of way.
Dan - quiet but funny, but becomes easily addicted to narcotics.
Dane - weird but can hold together a conversation with a mermaid.
Daniel - enjoys root vegetables in every orifice.
David - hot and works out a lot, loves girls named Florence.
Dave - complete twat, very small dick, can be violent.
Dean - full of himself and thinks with his dick.
Dennis - either very nice to girls or a faggot.
Derek - has a great mummy, and blow-up doll collection.
Dominic - hilarious and will do anything to please.
Don - dickhead.
Doug - has a greasy face, drinking problem and warts.
Drew - bad-arse losers who never shuts up.
Dylan - horny bastard, who can't sing.
Dwayne - cool guy to be around if you can handle his name.
Eddie - wants too many chicks he'll never get 'cos he's an arsehole.
Emrys - Load mouth gobby Shitte.
Eric - shy.
Erik - funny and treats girls how he wants to be treated.
Evan - a little slow but sweet, sexy, and model mental patient.
Frank - "different" - missing DNA - favors girls named Lucy.
Gareth - sweet but dresses too good to be straight.
Gary - drug addict but willing to share.
Gavin - likes bondage, S&M with other men.
Geoff - prefers golf to sex and war to peace.
George - barman who drinks more than he serves.
Glen - the sweetest guy - really down to earth
Gordon - likes to thinks he's innocent but a real tart inside
Greame - complete fuckwit, mouthy bastard
Graham - very hard to understand, likes group sex.
Grant - HORNY! but so sweet and you can talk to him about anything.
Greg - really sweet and feels sorry for himself.
Harvey - cute, but addicted to sex and/or drugs.
Hathem - smooth, but very manipulative, not to be trusted round young girls.
Haydn - tries hard.
Howard - likes small-breasted women and pornography (doesn't everybody!).
Ian - ugly shithead who everybody hates.
Jake - shy and sweet but a slut when drunk.
Jamie - sweet, kind and always laughing.
James - organised and can be romantic.
Jay - very sweet when you get to know him well.
Jeff - really ugly.
Jerome - gay, but very unhappy.
Jeremy - loud and thinks that he's all that he says he is.
Jesse - unpopular and needs to move on.
Jack - stupid but hot. Always alright.
Jim - sweet, has fantasies of love and affection.
Joe - built like a bear, sexy but tends to lose his head.
Joel - arse.
John - has no friends or life - tends to kill small animals.
Jonathon - thinks he's good - he's shit.
Jordan - sexy but weird in bed.
Jose - hot boy with a love of hermaphrodites.
Josh - full of himself, fun.
Junior - hot and totally good at football.
Justin - aggravating but lovable, insecure but successful.
Kain - the sexiest guy alive but very stuck up.
Kevin - can never get a girlfriend.
Keith - good person to talk to when you have a problem - his is worse.
Kenneth - very, very...anything you want him to be.
Kim - very understanding and caring, feels lost in Korea.
Kurt - can kick anyone's arse.
Ky - see Kain.
Kyle - hornball who eats too many cornchips.
Larry - cute but wannabe player with big arse.
Laurey - short and funny looking.
Lee - girl dressed up as a boy, total arse bandit.
Lewis - lonely, sad git, bit of a tosser.
Lyndon - can always be found in bed or in the pub
Liam - loud mouthed arsehole, normally found in rock bands and pubs.
Lorenzo - fine and dresses in stolen gold.
Louie - unconventional, wise and annoying.
Lucas - fat loser that dates other men.
Luke - seems to be sweet - Luke Solomons exactly!
Malcolm - tall man who tends to lose his trousers.
Mark - wished girls liked him for who he is not his great looks, mouthy
bastard though.
Martin - the ugliest dog and he doesn't get any.
Matt - the Fat Boy of the class, likes sweets and is full of shit.
Mick - very good looking but he'll do anything for a girl, which is totally
sweet.
Mitchell - sweet once you get to know him.
Nathan - stupid as hell, and tends to make others feel like he's there.
Nick - cool, calm and handsome, a quality only found in gays.
Neil - sweet and will do anything in this world for you, great in bed.
Oliver - likes men but is in denial.
Oscar - loser, a good name for a dog.
Owen - cute guy who is immature, and sings Welsh songs.
Patrick - drunk, drunk, drunk.
Paul - has serious disabilities.
Peter - cutie but very shy, makes women feel like virgins.
Phillip - stupid idiot who wishes he were cool.
Reagen - ...strange.
Rhys - had his mind stolen by aliens a long, long time ago.
Ricky - ugly shithead who everybody hates.
Rikki - see above.
Richard - can't stop wanking and has more wet dreams than anybody.
Rob - sweet, polite and adorable, but has serious disabilities.
Ross - total loser and computer genius.
Rupert - arrogant twat who is crap in bed but thinks he is a stud.
Russell - likes to play in the leaves which makes him an arsehole.
Ryan - short but sexy body and even sexier mind.
Sam - wannabe sex machine.
Scott -
Sean - has small testicles and no friends.
Seth - so sweet to other people but is a traitor.
Shane - thinks everybody wants to shag him - he's a virgin.
Shannon - the most determined and persevering sweetie in the world.
Shaun - bit of a hard bastard, thinks women love him.
Simon - likes a night out with the lads and curries. Talks bollocks.
Steve - popular and funny, hung like a donkey!!!!!!.
Stuart - droll guy with great arse and suicidal tendencies.
Terry - arrogant twat who is crap in bed but thinks he is a stud,
untrustworthy.
Tim - hot but a bit strange, can never tell where he is.
Toby - bastard.
Tom - cool but can be arrogant.
Tony - hot, sweet, and totally fun to be around.
Travis - fat and horny with the best XXX collection to be found.
Trevor - popular with girls but other guys can get jealous
Troy - cute and popular.
Taylor - gay.
Warren - cool, homosexual guy.
Wesley - great guy and easy to tolerate.
Will - wishes he were popular.
Zach - sweet and polite and adorable.
Zahid - devious and sly. Not to be trusted.
Girl's Names
Alison - Bra and pants are the same garment, looks better with the light off
Amanda - I.Q tends to be smaller than bra size. Probably a good shag though
Amy - Devious, Likes being on top, never stays the night - Not to be trusted
Andrea - Small breasts, drinks pints.
Angela - Vain, Hair style more important than oxygen. Usually found hanging
around toilets
Annabelle - Virgin
Annette - She's BIG
Anne - Looks like a horse, can't drive
Barbara - Shags like a rabbit, fussy about appearance
Belinda - Pleasing on the eye, usually has a couple of good points,
Repressed alcoholic Beverley - Trapped in an eighties time warp, adventurous
in bed.
Bianca - Ginger
Bridgette - Eats pizzas all day, smokes cigars
Britney - Falsely improved, no use to society
Camilla - replaces the word 'yes' with 'ya'
Carina - Looks like the back of a bus, doesn't swallow
Caroline - Lard arse, shaves her ears
Catherine - Attracted to the older man, needs ironing
Claire - Usually neurotic, gives good head, can have lesbian tendencies
Celine - Emits hideous noises, waste of DNA
Charlotte - Enjoys tea and cake, farts the national anthem
Cheryl - Can fit hand in mouth, eats glass
Christine - Likes men in uniform, never warm
Daisy - Virgin
Danni - Should make nice threesome with sibling
Davina - drug induced mental damage, should shave her neck
Dawn - Gets up early, smells of chips
Deborah - Bites the pillow, uses both hands
Denise - Sits on cats eyes, wears too much make up
Diane - Enjoys company of animals. Deep as a puddle. Adds nothing to society
Donna - 70's throw back, likes cabbage
Doris - Purple haired, stinks of wee
Elaine - Rides side saddle, drinks meths
Elizabeth - Born to rock, hates chickens
Emily - Wears odd socks, can have lesbian tendencies
Emma - Gullible and easily swayed by a good looker! Gives fantastic
blow-jobs (apparently!)
Estelle - Likes wombles, eats grass
Esther - Plump with sagging breasts, normally heavily tattooed
Faith - Legs met at knees, can't shag standing up
Faye - Wears wellies, can't swim
Felicity - She'll stab you with her nipples, plays darts
Fiona - Female mud wrestler, gives head
Francine - French
Gabrielle - French too
Gail - Farts a lot, drinks Guinness
Gayleen - Big tall women who talks shit all day
Gaynor - Lesbian
Geraldine - Too posh for her own good, likes flying
Gillian - Dyes her hair green, likes clubbing
Gina - Eternal mother, eats nappies
Glenda - Eats children, hates smoking
Gwyneth - Blubs a lot, wees in the bath
Hannah - Needs to be naked at all times, eats kebabs
Heather - Shags like a freight train, a screamer
Helen - Hangs around with the wrong crowd, Kinky in bed, loves porn
Heidi - The hills are alive with the sound of music, likes gerkins
Hilary - Frigid
Holly - Prickly to the touch, seasonal shagmeister
Imogen - Drinks tequila from the bottle, wets the bed
Ingrid - Right wing Nazi tendencies, never smiles
Iris - Cauliflower ears, scratches constantly
Isabelle - necessary on a bicycle?
Jackie - Heroin addict, sold her child
Janet - Massive over bite, no neck
Jane - Babe, men would drink her bath water
Jasmin - Smells of sewers, eats the heads off rats
Jemma - Does anal, wears too much eye make-up
Jennifer - Huge breasts, should shave her legs more often
Jessica - Virgin, always will be
Joanne - Moans in her sleep, cant cook, moans when she wakes up - I
wouldn't!
Jordan - Ha ha ha ha ha - nuff said
Judy - Huge tits, married to an arse
Julie - Jabba the Hutt's sister, constantly pregnant
Karen - Can strip wallpaper from 60 yards just with her voice, waste of DNA
Kate - see Catherine
Kelly - smells of cheese, slobbers when kissing
Kerry - Japanese Kelly
Kim - sexy but wishes to be a bloke, wears a wig
Kirsty - eats live moles, can't dance
Kylie - Can't sing but who cares - BOING !!!!!!!
Kym - Illiterate parents - see Kim
Lana - Hated by her parents, accidental pregnancy
Lara - Action packed, never seen naked
Laura - Likes Max power magazine, can't drive
Lauren - Pert breasts, seldom ventures out at night
Leah - Likes outdoor sex, wees standing up
Lena - Eats food then throws up, rapidly shrinking
Leslie - Likes bondage, hates men
Linda - Teenage bride, can swallow oranges whole
Lindsey - Likes doggy style, doesn't do housework
Lisa - Will take all your money and run, gets turned on by porn
Lorraine - Constantly whinges, will strip for a packet of jellybabies
Louise - Phwoooorrrrrrrrrr
Lucy - Strange dancer, wants to marry her dad
Madeline - Drives like a bloke, likes tractors
Maggie - Trainspotter, likes plaid
Margaret - Lovely mother, very generous
Maria - Can't swim, gives head for 50p
Marie - Life sapping dominatrix. Likes men to do DIY
Marina - No get up and go, rusty underwear
Marolyn - Eats like a horse, out stays her welcome
Martina - Ugly lesbian
Martine - Can't act, can't sing, nice tits
Matilda - Likes dancing, mainly the waltz
Mary - had a little lamb
Meg - Cheesy smell, should be spelt with an S
Melanie - Can hold 2 bar vacuum orally indefinitely
Melissa - Eats dogs, been in prison 6 times for burglary
Meryl - Dances like an ape, doesn't realise
Michela - Likes animals, should make a video with them
Michelle - Wears white stilettos, dances round her handbag
Marsha - Big butt, small brain
Monica - Doesn't swallow, should have
Naomi - Wannabe diva, more of a diver
Nancy - White hair, remembers tanners
Natalie - Eats with her mouth open, farts the Nokia phone tune
Natasha - Had seven kids before age 17, needs ironing
Nell - Hasn't realised WWII has ended, lives in Kent
Nicola - Slapper, alcoholic in denial
Nina - Stuffs her bra with tissues, been single for years
Olga - You can park a bike in her arse crack, excessive facial hair
Olive - Oily skin, oils up well
Olivia - Neutron bomb
Pamela - Gives amazing head, made of plastic
Pat - Butt ugly lesbian
Paula - Transvestite merchant banker for Basildon
Penelope - Pitstop queen, likes men to be stiff
Phillippa - Forest forager, likes wild boar
Petra - Dead dog
Priscilla - likes painting with oils, Duckhams mainly
Rachel - Amazing gravity defying breasts, can grip a tenner in her arse
cheeks
Rebecca - Hairy armpits, orgasms without contact.
Rhonda - help me, help me
Rosalind - Whahey, nuff said. Maybe 10 years ago.
Rose - Can be prickly, good head giver
Roseanne - ERRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH
Rula - She measures up well
Sadie - Stand up if you're slim, please stand up
Sally - Drives a Mustang, fights in pubs
Samantha - Loves her brother, has 4 deformed children
Sandra - Shags donkeys for fun, bow legged
Sarah - Likes pressed flowers and body piercing.
Selina - Doesn't wear pants, heavy laundry bills
Sharon - Shags like a locomotive, yo-yo knickers
Sheila - Can swallow a Curly Whirly whole, likes bananas
Sian - Does mean sheep impression, hates mint sauce
Simone - Used to be a shot-putter from Cardiff
Sonya - Dirty lady of the night. Often referred to as a "carrier"
Sophie - Brothel madam, wears a wrinkly corset
Stacey -Likes cut off jeans and arseless Speedo's
Steffi - Closet lesbian, maintains hetro-sexual relationship for effect
Stephanie - Eats Muppets, wears Brogues
Sue/Susanne - should shave more often, wears Denim aftershave
Tanya - Hot minx, too short
Tara - Upper class slapper, needs extra chemicals
Tina - Face like a smacked arse, should eat less
Tori - Lives in a hedge, can't water ski
Tracey - Lesbian
Trudy - Easily swayed by alcohol. Mostly seen without underwear. Loves
kittens.
Ulrika -ka ka ka ka ka ka ka ka
Ursula - Likes puppies, in curry
Wendy - Possible a man
Zoe - Talentless rock chick. Prepared to use sex as a weapon.
Zandra - Strange appearance, eats guinea pigs dipped in chocolate
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