This happened to me a couple days ago, and since everyone else i tell this too seems to enjoy it, why not post it here.

OK, so i live in calgary, just moved downtown, and for the most part it is awesome, except occassionally you have to deal with the lower end of the social hierarchy, which can be interesting but not always fun. This was one of those times.

so let me start off by painting a picture of my day: I was very tired and not in a great mood it was just one of those extremly long days. I get off the c-train (LRT) downtown, its about a 20 minute ride, and see that my bus doesnt come for 15 mins. So i decide to stop in at mcdonalds to kill some time.

I get in mcdonalds and there are about 3 people infront of me, with 1 register open. The line is moving at a snails pace, and it is taking forever. Finally, after eternity some McTool opens up a new register. i am next in line so i walk over the the register and begin to start my order, "I---" before i can finish the I in 'I'd like to order' this ugly 35 yearold homeless native woman who is probably on crack pushes me out of the way.

"I'll Have the Fillet OF Fish" she says

I look at her and say, "lady what are you doing, i was clearly in line first, 'I'll have the Mc---"

she scoffs, "No, i was hear first, i was waiting way longer. I'll have the fillet of fish"

"whatever chick, i was here first and you know it"
then some guy in the line behind me says "some people have no patience."
The crack whore matchs this by looking back and giving us a look like "fuck off".

so i turn and say to the guy behind me, "Typical."

this makes homeless pokahontus whip back around, turning up the heat, "And just what the hell is that supposed to mean???"

Stone faced i say, "its a term that often describes a situation where what you expect to happen does happen."

her, "I know what the word means you asshole"

me, "well why did you ask me, seems kind of counterproductive"

"Fuck you" she says

"lady, i'd rather castrate myself then do any kind of fucking with you" i say back

she looks at me and says "you little cunt, getting tough?"

i egg her on, with cockiness, "Try it you stinky bitch"

to which we engage in a 4th grade starring contest until another register opens, at which point she looks away, and takes new register. Its a good thing too, because I'm pretty sure she was getting ready to throw a fillet of fish at me. and if she had of done that, she would have got the tiger uppercut.


And much to the dissapointment of the 15 people in line who wanted to see me rock this chick, that was the end of that.

Until the next time.

That's way funnier than my telemarket calling when I just sat down to eat.

I love getting serious\technical\literal in arguements.

Hehe, that's the most amazing McDonalds story I've ever heard .

*thumbs up* hilarious..... absolutely great.

This is the kinda shit that just grinds the fuck outta my gears.


Where I live we have these main streetlights that are the best way to get around town (at lunch and rush hour). After a hard fucking day, I just wanna get home and relax. I always got to get in back of these self-important fucks that want to turn left and use up the 60 second or so timer just so they can get an opening in traffic to turn. Wouldn't you know it, I always get to the light a split second after it turns red. I swear next time this happens, I'm gonna push that fat bitch's car right into oncoming traffic.

Most of the Canadian native population are fuckoffs anyway. Please don't judge the rest of us by their example. Besides, you probably got a woman that honed her bullying skills in a "free money" line for years and years.

hey no worries man, when i said "typical" i meant of loud mouth crackwhores who buy Fillet's of fish, not some racist thing. I think anyone who lives in alberta has dealt with the good and the bad, its the same as any group.

And on another note, who the fuck buys a fillet of fish, that has got to be the nastiest thing ever invented. how is it still on the menu?

This isn't racist. The worlds got tried, true and proven assholes (in every race).


On the second note, who would procure the fillet o' fish in such a violent way? When I wasn't in the mood for a mcburger and got the fillet it tasted like a microwaved fishstick.

It makes God happy that we forget our differences and tolerate each other enough to eat at a single slop trough like McDonald's.

They used to have something good with the McArchie burgher . . .

Or whatever they called it. It had arch in it, an dit w was spectacular.a

Wow... I think I love you Ziptal... Still being in high school, I have to tell the smelly kids off all the time, but never in such a hilarious way.

you show those McAssholes.

i live in the red light district in nottingham ans my whole street is filled with those filthy crack filled scum whores and the number of arguements ive got into with them is just funny. whats even more funny is when theyve just had a hit and wander about telling you about kitkats.

Well, I can't say I haven't had my share of confrontation here in Wisconsin. However, I delight much more in my own friend's stupidity, as well as my own.... And as long as we're sharing stories:

One April 20th night, I was walking home from a buddies party with my good friend, *friend*. We were intoxicated, and very prone to random acts of stupidity. Well, he ended up stepping on a nice, fresh, steamy dogpile. Instead of scraping his foot on the sidewalk or the grass, he bends over.......and wipes it from his shoe with his hand! All the way down the street to subway he's sniffing his hand, and trying not to vomit, which just begs for more laughter from me. So we get to subway, and he takes a good 10 minutes in the bathroom washing his hands. (by this time I'm getting wierd looks because I can't stop snickering) He comes out of the bathroom STILL sniffing his hand, which commanded even more laughter. Poor guy looked like he would pass out from embarrassment. I felt so bad, but yet so good it wasn't me who failed my intelligence roll, and decided that scraping dog poo off my shoe with my hand is a good idea.

He sniffed his hand all the way home too....

The question is... Does shit still smell in your dimension?

I'm all about the discerning sense of smell and common sense. Wiping shit off of our shoes with our own hand is a good idea right? Just so I'm getting it straight. April 20th is a magical night for a charming feces fist.

hahahaha.... that's just funny.... I live in Kent now and nothing fucking happens here EVER!!!! Even the chavs are polite ffs

I used to work in McDonalds and I've probibly met the dirtiest, trampiest pieces of shit ever.... one guy came in on a friday night with puke down his top and it was all in his hair and shit.... I could smell him from the kitchen....

. . . Eww

Haha!


Yeah i dunno sweetgirl, i think you should invest in some new friends. I've been pretty wasted a time or 2, but i dont think i would ever, Ever think it would be a good idea to whip shit off with my hand. And, I think i would be more inclined to get a blow job from a rattle snake then to start sniffing my shit covered hand. I am amazed.

one of my mates was so mashed, that when i passed her the joint, instead of smoking it, she put it in her mouth and started chewing it

er...ouch

lol if we're talking about joint abuse my mate Kev tried to smoke a joint lit end first and wondered why he couldn't get a drag off it (he had been drinking for 2 days striaght though)

Last year my sister came home one night really smashed... She walked into my room and took a piss in the corner, thinking it was the bathroom. I didn't know what the fuck was going on so I figured it was like aliens or somthing. It led to an ackward conversation that morning.

My brother peed in a hamper once, but that was just because he was tired, not drunk.

My friends are pretty good people, and *friend* who did the poo smearing is normally a very intelligent guy.... besides, who needs new friends when the ones you've got are an endless source of amusement?

i guess i never thought of it that way.

maybe you should carry around a video camera, who knows, maybe your friend will become the next starwars kid

It'd be like hanging out with a young Tom Green. Yeah, he'll say some funny shit, then maybe rub his butt on something and in the end wipe shit off his shoe and smell it for a half-hour walk home. Add a camera and it's comedy gold.

I've known freinds who pushed the comedy envelope and actually pissed/shit their pants and puked in my backseat. Even when I didn't have the pleasure to see the act! It amused me to no end!

Excuse me, I'm just fascinated by this remarkable show of comedic prowess.